Review: A Queermas Carol at Alphabetti Theatre

“…delightful, queer joy-filled chaos…”

A Queermas Carol by Mack & Mama Rhi, Alphabetti Theatre

By Lauren Powell

On Saturday night I donned my gayest apparel and went down to Alphabetti to watch the final night of A Queermas Carol (The Gayest Ghost Story Ever Told). I noticed on my way in that there was a sign with one of their terrible reviews written out for all to enjoy. This in no way impacts my review … Alphabetti is a hub for weirdos and queers. It’s the sort of venue the Daily Mail warned you about. It’s the gay agenda in bricks and mortar. I love it. 

If I wasn’t reviewing this show tonight I would have bought myself tickets anyway because I am a big fan of the work of Mack and Mama Rhi. I always struggle to set expectations when I’m trying to tell people about these nights, and A Queermas Carol is no different. Basically Rhi and Mack take a property and make it weirder and gayer and then sprinkle in some raw autobiographical narrative too. So, tonight we were treated to a retelling of A Christmas Carol. You don’t need to have read or watched it recently to understand what was going on – understanding what is going on comes secondary to the chaos.

We are introduced to our duo playing Marley and Marley, working to unforge the chains we all find ourselves carrying. They battle against their boss, old Mr Dickens, who wants them to tell the story how it was written, whilst they find themselves unable to not represent LGBTQIA+ people in their work. At one point Rhi laments a lonely childhood whilst Mack, dressed as traumatising a Furby-gotchi, guides her down memory lane. Later, Rhi becomes the Ghost of Christmas Present and belts out tunes whilst shimmying her … assets.

I found myself laughing and crying at Mack’s take on Tiny Tim – a puppet of him as a child – where he plays his own dad and reflects on his coming-out story. So raw, so beautiful, so funny. Tonight’s guest star, who played the Ghost of Christmas Future, was Little Pickle. Little Pickle, a sexy clown, is best described in their own words: a gender-bending freak with an undeniable urge to boogie on down. LP has such a phenomenal rhythm, and their dancing is hypnotic. Caution: I’m fairly sure I left tonight slightly more queer than when I went in. 

If you are reading this and thinking, “WTF, this sounds crackers!” then you are picking up the correct vibe. It was just delightful, queer joy-filled chaos. Audience participation is heavily encouraged, but at the start of the night they teach you a sign to make if you want them to leave you alone. Even if you don’t want to be bantered with, do still cheer, clap, boo and hiss in all the right places. It’s a bit panto, it’s a bit cabaret, if it’s not the weirdest part – but also the highlight – of your week then I’m jealous, but surprised.

A Queermas Carol plays at Alphabetti Theatre Wednesday 17th December – Saturday 20th December.

Lauren Powell is a recovering academic from the North East of England. Currently residing in South Shields with her partner and two malevolent gerbils. Lauren is a short form writer who writes fiction as well as reviews. She has loved the theatre since childhood, and many years ago volunteered back stage with an amateur group, Stage Focus.  From one man readings to musical and beyond, Lauren can not get enough! You can find her on Twitter/X here.