Theatre Review: Fascinating Aida, Theatre Royal, Newcastle

Fascinating Aida – Theatre Royal, Newcastle Sunday 13th February 2022

By Ken Powell

First it must be said: Newcastle’s Theatre Royal is a marvellous experience if you’ve never been before (and even if you have). The grand old theatre is exquisitely beautiful and truly gives that ‘glory days of theatre’ feel to a night out. Furthermore, the staff were wonderful and every ready to help. From bar staff to front of house, without fail, each one had a welcoming smile and friendly manner.

So what better place to see those stalwarts of British comedy, Fascinating Aida? With their classically trained voices, elegant clothes and a dashing gentleman (Michael Roulston) playing the grand piano, they are the epitome of classical grace and charm. Except, that is, until you start realising what they’re singing about.

When it comes to pulling punches, this trio quite simply doesn’t bother. They are irreverent, rude, crude and crass. If you lean even remotely to the ‘Attila the Hun’ side of right wing politics you’re likely to be offended. For the rest of us, who stand left side of centre and are quite happy to take the proverbial pee out of ourselves, they are – by far – the funniest trio you’re ever likely to see.

It is something of a miracle they manage to get through any of their songs. As it was, many of the songs were interrupted by roars from the whole audience often reduced to tears by the gags. Such interruptions clearly didn’t phase these performers having toured for nearly four decades to packed houses and with countless nominations and awards. They are consummate professionals of the highest standard despite doing their very best impression of bumbling gals lolloping across the stage.

Dillie Keane, who founded the group, seems like the grand dame/hobbling old lady initially but as the show progresses you realise she is masterfully in control and a powerful creative force. And then there’s how she can spread-eagle across the piano – but I’d really better not talk about that.

Indeed, there’s an awful lot I had better not talk about. Partly this is because these reviews are meant to be family-friendly and you really, really cannot talk about FA in any meaningful way if you want to keep it clean. But mostly I don’t want to spoil any of the songs for you. Best for you to go completely unprepared for what you are about to see and listen to, other than saying don’t go if you’re easily offended or think that Johnson, Rees Moggs et al are the very bee’s knees (and if you are, as Dillie says, what are you doing here?).

What I can say is that even during the interval break, people were already asking their companions ‘what was your favourite song so far?’ and it was clear it was nearly impossible to do. Oh Fake News surely? But what about New Zealand? The widower one? Or perhaps it has to be the-song-about-what-you-can-do-with-a-new-car? Or…or…or…

The fact is, almost all the songs are corkers; and that FA regularly update the lyrics to keep them topical means that nothing seems stale or out of touch. Furthermore, there’s really quite a different feel to the second half from the first. You’re not overwhelmed by funnies so that you’re rather numb to comedy by the end. Instead, the ladies take you down a road of poignancy and nostalgia. For those of us of a certain age, we absolutely relate to many of the songs which – even if funny – head in more serious directions. FA manage to move us deeply just before they banana-skin us again and we’re back to howling.

I don’t know how long FA will continue to perform. As they admit in their show, their collective age runs pretty high. They may be as fresh now as they were in the 80s but there must be a time when they will hang up their frocks for good. If I were you, I would go see them now while you can. With an extensive tour list, find a venue you can get to and go see. Quite honestly, I don’t believe you could get a better feel-good and hilarious night out. Judging by the standing ovation they received at the Theatre Royal, the audiences agree.

The trio (and pianist) are currently on tour around the UK until Monday 20 June. You can find more details at their website Fascinatingaida.co.uk.

Fascinating Aïda plays at Newcastle Theatre Royal Sun 13 & Sun 27 Feb 2022. Tickets are priced from £26.00 and can be purchased at www.theatreroyal.co.uk or from the Theatre Royal Box Office on 0191 232 7010.